Fucking Fuck

It's a "Steph-ism."

Words I repeat often.

Sometimes, too often.

Fucking fuck.

A combination of anger, frustration, uncertainty and curiosity.

Perhaps it denotes I'm out of control?

At a loss?

Done with life - or at least this particular human existence?

Ready to start again and hit that reset button?

Perhaps I'm done with this expression that is "Stephanie Moxey?"

So many questions.

But for now, I rest in the uncertainties and the unknown.

Grateful for the exhale and the space to utter "Fucking fuck" as I attempt to figure my shit out.