Surrender your expectations

In relationships, expectations can lead to hurt, frustration and disappointment.

They’re really just about you and what you want – which is honestly not fair to put on others.

People don’t necessarily value what you value, think the way you think, or care about what you care about.

As an example, I love having the sink empty and the kitchen clean when I wake up. My kids on the other hand, don’t seem to value that as much as I do, so I often wake up to dirty dishes. On the days where I let my expectations run the show – where I’m expecting them to value what I value – this leads to frustration, however, on the days where I’ve released my expectations, I joyfully tidy up and get on with things.

My expectations only lead to frustration and disappointment if I let them – if I’m not conscious and present – and not accepting what is.

Often there’s an expectation that people will be fully accessible, or easily reachable, or that they will reply instantly. You’ll quickly realize that this is not the case with me – my phone is always on do not disturb, my notifications are all turned off and I often go MIA from the online world, so replies can take hours, days, weeks – or may even get missed altogether. To have any of those expectations of me could definitely lead to frustration, disappointment and even hurt feelings.

I often let my expectations get the better of me when it comes energy, health, evolution and consciousness. People typically aren’t as passionate as I am about learning and so my ideas often fall on deaf ears, leading to disappointment for me. For whatever reason, I have an underlying expectation that people “should” want to grow, learn and be better – but it’s just not the case for everyone – and I’m slowly learning that that’s ok, knowing that we’re each on a very different journey.

It’s not right or wrong – it just’s different.

In view of always being 100% responsible, whatever comes up for me – the hurt, frustration or disappointment – is “my stuff” – not anyone else’s responsibility. It’s my opportunity to see where there are places in me that need some love and attention.

In those moments where we do have expectations that aren’t met, just make sure you use the opportunity for your own growth by taking advantage of that upset. 

Of course, feel what you feel and start by taking it to the body as Dr. Sue Morter teaches. 

Your body will likely have a charge somewhere, letting you know where to begin the work by giving it a little hug from the inside and then proceeding with central channel breathing while feeling into the sensation.  

It’s never about disregarding your feelings, it’s about embracing them, welcoming them and inviting them into the party.

Additionally, if I look at what’s coming up for me, perhaps it’s an opportunity to see where I need to practice more patience or compassion – or be more loving. Maybe I need to be more forgiving and understanding? Maybe I need to treat others with more grace?

What if you surrendered your expectations and instead were just open to what showed up in the moment? 

Scary idea, huh? 

I bet it would free up a lot of stress in your life and take a huge weight off of your shoulders.

For me, releasing expectations is about freedom and I’m getting better and better at it everyday.

Why be disappointed in others when I can be happy?

Similar to practicing non-attachment, by surrendering expectations, my happiness and my emotions are not controlled by my outside circumstances.

A moment is what it is – until we attach our stories to it.

Consider releasing your expectations – and all of the stories that go along with it – and choose happiness instead.